One thing I want to do during my internship is share what I am learning with all of you. It is my hope that this will be filled in your mind somewhere in between remembering to pay your phone bill and the random statistics you recall when watching reruns of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” (Speaking of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, if you haven’t seen the movie “Slumdog Millionaire,” see it. Seriously.)

These “Facts” I will be posting will primarily have to do with poverty, AIDS, and sex trafficking. All of these will be areas that I will be spending a lot of time studying. That said here is your first fact:

Nearly half the people in the world live on less than $2 dollars a day.

To put that in perspective, there are approximately 6,759,314,200 people in the world today. In comparison the United States has a population of about 300,000,000. So that means eleven times the amount of people living in the U.S. are living daily on less money than we spend on just ONE gallon of gas.

“The Skeptic’s Guide to Global Poverty,” Dale Hanson Bourke. Authentic Publishing. 2006.

In line with organizational tradition, Food for the Hungry is training me to understand the culture, beliefs and history of their organization, or, in other words, I am going through orientation. Typically I would find this to be a wasted day, full of self promotion and ego stroking (i.e. much of what the orientations comprised from my experience in the business world). But this is different. This is an organization whose mission and vision statement not only have the seemingly forbidden “G” word, but their entire organizational philosophy is built upon their faith in Christ.

One of my favorite parts of the day was viewing a video entitled “True Faced” featuring speaker John Lynch. The primary question presented was this. When the trail splits, do we follow the sign that says “Trusting God,” or do we venture down the trail of “Pleasing God.”

There is a slew of thoughts that accompany this question, thoughts that are relevant both on a personal, and an organizational level.

Personal level: I have really been hit hard lately with the implications of Christ upon the cross. I am learning more and more that my natural tendency is to revert back to wanting to please God, wanting to earn his grace, love, and affection. I do it in subtle ways, often not realizing that is what I am doing. I am inadvertently embracing my inner Pharisee. Why? Because if I can’t do my part in this relationship I am left with a feeling of inadequacy, I feel worthless and helpless. If I can’t do this well, what makes me any better than anyone else (the honest and ugly side of my pride). So I strive to please God. It sounds admirable doesn’t it, pleasing God, yet it is an unquenchable burden. This video highlighted the realization that God is bringing me too again and again.

I can not please God.

Not in the sense that I bring worthiness to my case. The truth is this: Even if I could live out his law perfectly, I wouldn’t live in perfection. Absolutely impossible. I have known this for a while, but I am just now learning to KNOW it. You see even if I could obey every commandment, make every right decision, I still fall short. I would be living a shallow existence; pride would overcome me, I wouldn’t understand grace, and I would have no comprehension of forgiveness. To understand the fullness of God we must understand the depth of existence, we must fail, succeed, cry, laugh, experience both pain and joy. Entangled in this mess, is sin. There is no escaping it, at least not on our own. So here we are, back at the cross. Christ dying for us upon the cross is the sole reason we can hold to any hope in life with God.

“Through him [Jesus] we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” (Romans 5:2-6)

Organizational Level: This paradigm of trusting God vs. pleasing God is also extremely relevant on an organizational level. How do you lead an organization in faith when it often seems to contradict the standards of business and culture. How do you stay proactive and submissive? How is it that we can allow God to serve as the catalyst for organizational success, rather than serve as that catalyst ourselves (all the while under the guise of submission to God)? I don’t have the answers to these questions. I have thoughts, but no answers.

I will conclude this post with an analogy from the video that is fitting to our journey as individuals as well as the growth of organizations.

To paraphrase:

“If you tested the DNA of a caterpillar you may be confused to find it isn’t as it seems, you see the DNA of a caterpillar is that of a butterfly. ..A caterpillar will one day mature into what it already is, what it is already made of, a butterfly.”

God may we we mature into the new creation that we already are.

Welcome to another blog amidst a world seemingly overflowing with blogs. But before you move on to your next Google search (or GoodSearch if you are in-the-know) take a moment to read on, don’t let your self become overwhelmed, for blogs are not just another voice shouting at you in unison with the disruptive slogans of advertisers and marketing gurus. Blogs can be insight into the very heart, mind and soul of the person, spilling forth their very essence as it flows from their mind, through their fingers, and finds its way into cyberspace. Blogs like that, full of transparency, truth and life, seem to fill us as we read them, rather than drain us and distract us, while becoming a chore to read. It is my hope that this blog will be the former.

I have reached a point of being in-the-know of unknowings. By that, I mean that I  have very little grasp of what my future entails. What I do know is what I am planning to do for the next five months or so. (Keeping in mind: “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.” And, “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” [proverbs 16:1, proverbs 16:9])

From the current time, through the middle of June I will be interning with Food for the Hungry, an international faith based nonprofit with headquarters here in Phoenix (click the FH tab for more info). From February until the middle of April I will be interning with the City Initiatives department where I will be focusing on a project called Branded (more information to come in future posts). In April I plan to leave for Rwanda for roughly 8 weeks. There I will be working with both Food for the Hungry and Highlands Church to establish a presence in Northern Rwanda focusing on meeting both physical and spiritual needs (again more information to come).

Coinciding with my internship I will continue to lead and direct Love God Love People, a nonprofit organization I founded in 2005. I have posted some background information on this blog, you can find that on the Love God Love People page. Our organization is continuing to grow and we have an amazing group of volunteers who are responsible for bringing us to the brink of a new stage of possibilities.

Of course none of my plans are those of my own. I submit them before God, and trust, that they are here before now by His design. He has not been subtle in bringing me to the point that I am currently at, rather He has made it quite clear this is His will. And so I step forward into the next phase of this journey. I am grateful for all of you, both family and friends, and invite you to share this journey with me. I hope that this blog is more than words on a screen, perhaps, it can serve to unite us through these steps.

I invite you to look through all the sections of this blog, let your mouse lead the way. I am a photographer part time, so you can expect to see a lot of pictures, especially once I leave for Rwanda. Please feel free to comment, push against, share joy, and engage me in all ways, through my posts.

Thank you to Britt Smiley for the great design work.

Here we go.